The power of intention during family dinners – Family Dinner Project

Let me just say this: I hate New Year’s resolutions.
I don’t think they have value. This isn’t just my opinion either; Sources indicate that at least 80% of resolutions are destined to fail (some even believe this number is higher). The long, cold days of January don’t inspire me or anyone else I know to be a better version of themselves. Who’s to say what “better” is, anyway?
Still, I know a new year can feel incomplete without at least reflecting on what the next year might bring and how we can prepare. If nothing else, resolutions are all about injecting a little optimism and motivation during this time of year as many of us are laying around stuffing the last of our holiday cookies and cheese platters. So I usually try to set goals for the year.
One way to set New Year’s resolutions is to choose one word that you want to sum up the year. For example, after going through a particularly difficult and sad holiday season, I chose “Joy” as my goal word for the coming year. This mindset may not automatically fill my life with twelve months of abundant happiness, but it helps me remember to look around for opportunities to pursue fun and lightheartedness from time to time. Maybe just to look for the positive, I’ve trained myself to recognize things more easily when they cross my path.
You can apply intentions to all areas of your life, or you can focus them more tightly in one area. If family dinner feels like a place you might want to change a little in the new year, think of an intention you can set that will help you be mindful of the important things every time you come to the table. Here are some suggestions:
- Intent #1: Connect
Connecting with the people we love is one of the most important reasons for family dinners. But in our busy daily lives, even sitting down to eat can turn into a rush-and-eat situation, where everyone eats quickly and then runs off to do the next thing (homework, sports practice, cleaning the kitchen) …). Or the conversation itself may stall, replacing the kind of concession we hoped for with one-word answers and shrugs. If you’re looking to connect this year, try:- Be prepared for 100 different ways to ask “How was your day?”
- Use some “conversation deepeners” to extend the experience
- Get creative with a tech-based photo session to help reluctant family members open up
- Use “conversation boxes” to capture people’s thoughts and ideas, even if you can’t sit together at the same time. Choose a conversation starter for the day, write it down, and add your answers. Then place the paper in a box or bowl on the table where others can read your answers and add their own.
- Intent #2: Diversity
Not to be cliche, but it’s the “spice of life”. If you feel like you’re stuck in a family dinner rut, or you’re frustrated by common challenges like selective eating that seem to limit your menu, variety might be a good idea for your family. If you’re looking for more variety this year, try:- Change where and how you eat together once a week. Try a picnic (even indoors on a blanket), a family breakfast in bed (or breakfast for dinner), or a weekly dinner and movie experience with plenty of blankets and favorite snacks
- By creating more “make-your-own” meals, you can add some adventurous menu items for more confident diners, but leave comfort, familiar foods on the table for selective tastes
- Get inspired occasionally from books, movies or countries around the world. Theme nights can be a fun way to spice things up and introduce new foods in a way that sparks children’s curiosity!
- Create more opportunities for sensory play and exploration outside meals to help selective diners build familiarity and confidence with new foods
- Intention #3: Peace
Do family dinners feel more tiring than nutritious? If your meals together are marred by arguments, table manners, or constant tension, you may seek more peace at the table this year. (That’s great if you’re considering seeking more peace instead of giving up on the whole thing.) Here’s some support:
You can choose one of these intentions, or create your own – the point is just to think about what you want when you eat, how you want those experiences to feel, and find little ways to capture those thoughts. Working together on this can also be helpful; you can involve your family in choosing family dinner intentions that feel right. Remember, this New Year, it’s about focusing on what matters most to you.
food

Photo: Meal Plan Junkie
Speaking of setting intentions, the New Year is a great time to whip up a freezer meal or two for your future self. Try these stuffed shells for a freezer-friendly treat!
Easy Cheesy Beef Crust
pleasure
This calming family activity can be a great way to help everyone transition to more focused, active meals this year.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1
dialogue
This collection of conversation starters can help you start the new year off in the right direction.