After receiving backlash about her family dynamic on TikTok, Janelle Spencer is fighting back and explaining how she handles her relationship with her mom and mother-in-law. She does not prefer one over the other, but rather the other. She matches their energy.
Spencer received backlash after she posted a satirical video about her in-laws showing up at their house too early for the holidays (aka crossing a line!). One user commented: “I bet your mom will show up any minute.”
Spencer responded with a video, admitting that, yes, her mom able She shows up whenever she wants, but guess what? She doesn’t! Because she respects her daughter’s bottom line! What a concept!
“You know what? She can. But she still doesn’t do it. People always comment on things like this, like this is a gotcha moment. Like, oh, you’re so unfair because your mom and you have a different relationship. , and the things that are allowed are different than your mother-in-law, but it’s not a gotcha moment,” she said.
“Don’t people realize that women are just matching energy with their moms and mothers-in-law?”
She went on to notice some differences between her mom’s energy and her MIL’s.
“My mom will show up at any moment, and she won’t insult me. She won’t insult my husband. She won’t insult my home, but she still won’t show up at any moment. Because that’s the dynamic of our relationship. In this relationship, She would at least text me first and say, “Hey, I’m on my way. “This works for us.
Spencer went on to say that mothers-in-law often become uncomfortable because of “unfair” treatment and lack of contact with their sons or grandchildren, when in fact they should be taking the time to look at themselves.
“One day they arbitrarily decided, ‘Oh no, I want to be treated the same as my daughter-in-law’s mother.'” Even though they didn’t spend the time, energy or resources to maintain the relationship, they realized that their daughter-in-law I have a very close relationship with my mother. Later, maybe their son will grow close to her mother.
She pointed out that mothers-in-law wanted to get involved simply because they were jealous of their daughter-in-law’s mother. In her opinion, if the relationship between the daughter-in-law and her mother was not good, they would not show up at all.
Then, she returned to the idea of ”matching energies” when it came to family dynamics.
“You want fairness? Well, fair, equal. I’m going to treat you the same way you treated me. I’m not going to be five notches above the way you treat me just because of the way I treat my mother. I My mother’s attitude towards me is five levels higher than before you treat me. So what do you want me to do with it?
One user responded: “My parents are always available because they love and respect me and my partner, so no one feels ignored, disrespected, miserable, etc. when they are around. Can’t say the same for MIL “
Another said, “I have known my mother since the day I was born and she has been very kind and loving to me from day one. I have known my MIL for 4 years and she insulted me and made me I feel uncomfortable and so on.
One user pointed out the double standard, writing: “Will Daughter/Dil show up? Kind of a legitimate question. I don’t just show up at my parents’ house, they don’t show up at mine, the same goes for the in-laws. Why are some mil Does Si seem to have this right?
OP responded, “Yeah, dunno. I don’t just show up at my parents’ house, I remind them all the time. I’ve lived away from their home for ten years, and it’s not always a good mood when someone knows you’re coming. Is it better?
